Archives for May 2002

May 24, 2002

Warning: the following is only 23.8% approved

All right. Whichever one of you jokers signed me up to the Republican National Committee's e-mail list, you can fess up now. I'm more amused than annoyed. For example, this missive I got from Deputy RNC Chairman Jack Oliver today. Here are some highlights.

This week Democrats are celebrating the year anniversary of Senator Daschle as Senate Majority Leader. Instead of celebrating, they should focus on the lack of Senate leadership on much of America's agenda.

Yeah...how dare they take time off? After all, focusing on lack of leadership is a priority in Washington these days. I read that George Bush actually spent 2 nights in the White House in between month-long "working vacations" at the ranch.

Important issues like confirming qualified federal judges, providing terrorism insurance and passing a budget that funds America's needs have become hostage to partisanship.

Two thoughts here. First, are the Democrats the party that let the witchhunt over Monica Lewinsky derail the government for two years? I thought not. Second, what's the deal with terrorism insurance? Considering that the FBI and Dick Cheney have flatly stated that more terrorism is certain, I'm not sure what they're getting out of pushing insurance. How does it work?

As Senate Majority Leader, Daschle has a 23.8% job performance rating...

As a citation, they link to their own web site. Interesting. In a related story, BunkoSquad research indicates that 98.4% of all web users visit BunkoSquad "10-15 times" daily and rate its content "extremely" or "unearthly" well-written.

Progress on President Bush's agenda won't happen until we have a united Republican majority in the Senate!

Well, thank God! Or until Bush and his shadow-council figure out a way to overthrow the Senate and grant him full control over all aspects of American life. Maybe we can get the 2004 election canceled, too; there's a war of some sorts on, you know.

It ends...

By signing up as a volunteer Team Leader, you become the President's link to your community - working with friends, neighbors, local media and your elected officials to communicate support for President Bush and the Republican Party.

How carefully do they monitor their Team Leaders? Because I'm almost tempted to see how much disinformation I can spread before I get reined in. Actually, who needs disinformation? Maybe I'll just point out that George calls Vladimir Putin, President of Russia and the man in charge of the second-largest pile of nuclear bombs in the world, "Pootie-Poot". Or this quote from April:

"It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber."

In fact, that's the crux of the problem. If the Senate would spend more time pushing Bush's agenda and less time trying to perfect cloning, this country would certainly be a less partisan place. When the Senate does get around to it, I'm sure they can find Bush at the ranch.

May 22, 2002

The Fox Network has hit a new low.

I was flipping around (no, really) and caught 30 seconds of Fox TV's "Celebrity Boxing." Just long enough to see the warmups for the Olga Korbut-Darva "please God just let me have one more second in the sun" Conger fight. And to see one-trick pony Michael Buffer say, "And now, to honor America, our national anthem. Sung tonight by former celebrity boxer and star of the Brady Bunch...Barry Williams!"

That's right. To honor America. Greg Brady warbling the Star-Spangled Banner before the broke Olga Korbut and the desperate Darva Conger debase the whole of womankind for something like $250 in Burger King coupons. I repeat again...to honor America.

Yep. That's what Thomas Jefferson had in mind.

May 19, 2002

Back in black

Many many thanks go out to the elves, who finally put in a Herculean 48-hour shift and got the new site cranking. Extra thanks to sooz of capricious.org for supervising the elf-peons down the home stretch, and Brian of fozbaca.org for setting me up with the movable type tool that made all this possible. You're all very very wonderful.

A lot has angered me since Daylight Savings Time began, but I'm most interested in the idea that George W. Bush may have been warned about the September attacks and done nothing. So now, he's decided to have daily intelligence briefings. Wow! The alleged leader of the country will actually spend time keeping abreast of possible attacks? That's a bold step. Next thing you know, the Archdiocese of Boston will institute a zero-tolerance policy of priests molesting little kids. What will they think of next?

May 18, 2002

It's new and not quite done

The new site is almost mostly up. There are a bunch of broken links, images, etc. I'm working on it.