Archives for June 2002

June 27, 2002

Schumin All Over The Place

I hadn't visited Ben Schumin's Schumin Web for a while; when I finally did, today, I was astounded. Ben's been as active as a third-base coach with chicken pox, and his photo essays page has gone far beyond a simple trip to Walmart.

The photo essays gallery now includes, along with many many others, virtual tours of his encounter with the briny deep, his trip to the FDR Memorial. as well as a spirited afternoon following a Zamboni around.

Schumin Web is hard to explain. The photo essays are deceptively simple, and one is tempted to dismiss the photographer/essayist as too obsessed with minutiae. But underneath the top layer is a hypnotic writing style, a unique blend of folksy homespun wisdom and calculated opinion-mongering.

Sorry to get all Harold Bloom there, but Schumin has a way of doing that to ya.*

(*Note: Don't take this entry literally)

June 26, 2002

One Nation, Undereducated

In case you haven't heard, a West Coast appeals court ruled that the Pledge of Allegiance was unConstitutional because of the phrase "under God", inserted at the height of '50s anti-Communist mouthfoaming. And, as you would expect when the principles of the First Amendment and the separation of church and state are called into question, we look to our nation's lawmakers for careful, measured debate of the issues.

Ari Fleischer says that George W. Bush thinks the ruling is "ridiculous."

Senator Tom Daschle (D-SD) choked out, "This decision is just nuts."

Senator Kit Bond (R-MO) frothed, "this is the worst kind of political correctness run amok."

Senator Joe Lieberman (D-CT) sputtered, "There may have been a more senseless, ridiculous decision issued by a court at some time, but I don't remember it."

There you have it - the kind of rational, thoughtful analysis you can only get from the halls of Congress.

In the meantime, here's a modest proposal to keep everyone in schools equally tense and p.o.ed. Put a big wheel in each classroom and spin it before the Pledge every morning. Maybe on Monday the kids say "one nation, under God." On Tuesday, they may say "one nation under Vishnu." Wednesday: "one nation under the Great Spirit Mother." Thursday: skip the pledge and do a Hopi harvest dance.

Then on Friday, maybe the wheel comes up to "end this silliness and spend the extra 45 seconds actually learning something, instead of rote recitation of something that 8-year-olds take about as solemnly as the Commissioner's warning not to rebroadcast baseball games."

June 25, 2002

If you can read this, then read this

I very much recommend Central Booking, a totally-labor-of-love site by, for, and about booklovers. I'm exploring the whole site - the author interviews, the essays by people in all aspects of the book publishing, selling, and reading world, the resources both onsite and offsite. It's fantastic. I'm planning to start writing for them, too, so go get used to it now. Really.

Ahhh...Texas

Surfing the Web (looking for NBA Draft news....really!), I came across this doozy from the Dallas News:

Susan Weddington, the head of the Texas GOP, said faith is institutionalized in the Republican Party.

"There's a general recognition that our country was founded on Judeo-Christian principles," she said. "The Democratic Party seems to hold to the idea that there is some sort of separation between church and state."

Fancy that!

In other Texas news, a survivor of Monday's bus crash near Dallas said that she felt God was protecting her. She said, "The girl behind me died. I really feel his [God's] hand was over me and watching me." Nowhere does this young theologian mention why she felt God struck the other girl down.

June 22, 2002

I Finally Make A Statement About the Middle East

Picking a side in the Israel-Palestinian business is like rooting for someone in the Jets-Raiders game. In other words, I have issues with both teams. As I understand it (and trust me, I don't pretend to), for the most part, the Palestinians want a homeland of their own without having to worry about tanks rolling over their borders. And the Israelis want a homeland of their own without having to worry about bombs and tanks and stuff coming at them from all their neighbors. Both seem like pretty legitimate goals.

But there's this faction of Palestinians who don't really care about the homeland thing...they just want to blow up Israel. And they have friends in other Middle Eastern countries who want to blow up Israel as a trial run for blowing up the USA. See, while God was telling the Jews that Israel was their home, God was also telling the fundamentalist Muslims that Israel was their enemy and they should conquer it. Either God is nuts, or someone's fudging the truth. Hmmm.

I realize that most of the Palestinians do not have sinister aims and just want to be able to settle in their ostensible homelands. As Americans, we believe that everyone has that right (except the Indians, who we kicked around America till we found them a place that we didn't want to be...but that's a whole 'nother entry). And I know the state of Israel has hands that are far from clean in dealing with their less-than-wanted Palestinian residents.

Often I'm tempted to think that the US should just back out and leave the whole crazy mess alone. I know that it's weird that we cheerfully bombed the hell out of Afghanistan but we are urging restraint on Israel's part. (Or are we? I don't even know any more.) But it comes down to this: do we want to support an inclusive, democratic society, or a bunch of idiots who bomb pizza parlors and busses (and New York City)? Need a minute to think? And no, of course not all Palestinians are mad bombers. But their leadership and their friends don't give me a lot of confidence in their ability to be a successful, friendly nation.

And someone please tell the people in charge of Palestinian terrorism that they might have had a country by now if they weren't so interested in blowing up little kids and grandparents? Is that so hard to figure out?

June 20, 2002

Snow White

Maybe you thought I forgot about the movie reviews. Maybe you forgot. But in any case, there's a new one. It's Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs. And it's not for the faint of heart.

June 15, 2002

On the Phone With Season,Inc.

"Hi. I have a complaint with my order. I asked for the complete set of 2002 Months and it's all screwed up."

"What seems to be the trouble?"

"Well, instead of the January, I received half a May. Instead of March and April you sent two Novembers. Now I'm supposed to be getting a June and you sent a March."

"Where are you calling from?"

"Boston, Mass."

(type type type)

"Oh, yes. That's been a problem. A lot of our season orders to New England get fouled up every year. A few years ago, our entire August order got shipped in February."

"Yeah, I remember that. Look. I don't really care about the last few shipments. I don't mind missing January. But can I please get a June? I could really use one."

(type type type)

"OK, I've put in an order for a June. That should be getting to your area sometime around October."

June 11, 2002

On A Lighter Note

From the Onion:

Body Of Missing Mad Magazine Reporter Found In Blecchistan

Getting Mom Onto Internet A Sisyphean Ordeal

From The Ironic Times:

White House Turns Over Enron Documents
But, for national security reasons, they've been translated into Navajo.

What A Country

I want to be all good and patriotic and support the eradication of terrorists everywhere (except Saudi Arabia) and wave the flag like a nut. I really do.

But my god, these people in charge of this country.

So this alleged dirty-bomb guy, Jose Padilla, has been detained for over a month. As far as I can see, he hasn't done anything explicitly illegal. He flew from Pakistan to Chicago...that's legal. He converted to Islam and changed his name...that's legal. All we have to go on is that John Ashcroft (who leapt into action as soon as he heard the words "dirty bomb", in case there was some nudity to stamp out) and Don Rumsfeld are convinced he's met with al-Qaeda officials. Well, OK, but if you know about him and where he is, why don't you shadow him to see where he goes and who he contacts? And why do you wait a month to announce that you have him in custody, unless it's to grandstand your new whizbang elite anti-terrorism squad? And how do they justify holding him as an "enemy combatant" (no trial, no rights, no fuss, no muss)?

Typically, President George W. Bush entered the national debate with a measured, calculated, reasoned, inspiring analysis of the situation.

"This guy, Padilla, is a bad guy," Bush said as he met with lawmakers at the White House to discuss his proposal for a Department of Homeland Security. "And he is where he needs to be -- detained."

Not quite Churchillian, but there is a two-syllable word in there. So there's hope.

The Bush Administration also was quick to point out that Padilla had a criminal record in his youth. Ah, those youthful indiscretions. They'll come back to haunt you. Unless you're a member of the Bush Administration.

Look, there's a good chance that this guy is rotten. I'm not suggesting that he's innocent. But the guys who are supposed to be the good guys don't come out of this looking too good. And that's rotten, too.

June 10, 2002

The Ruins of Cambridge

My buddy Pete has just posted a really cool and really depressing photo essay featuring photos from Central and Harvard Squares from 1998 and today. If you're not a local, here's the story...like so many cool neighborhoods in the 90s, big chunks of Cambridge became too cool and funky for their own good. People started flocking to the neighborhood, landlords raised rent, the businesses that created the neighborhood couldn't afford to stay, they closed, and The Gap and its clones moved in to complete the sterilization and make the area a big outdoor mall.

I'd tell you where some of the cool areas around Boston are now, but we're not allowed to say anything...maybe the Gap won't find out.