Archives for January 2003

January 27, 2003

COINS

The designs for the 2003 state quarters are up at the US Mint's web site. The five designs:

Illinois. Abe Lincoln superimposed over a map of the state, with the Chicago skyline in the background. Decent, I guess, though the "21st State/21st Century" angle is already crying out to be dated.

Alabama. Helen Keller, with her name spelled out in Braille. Kind of a nice touch, considering what Alabama could have picked. But I can't really imagine blind folks feeling through stacks of coins to see if they got this one.

Maine. A lighthouse. Shocking.

Missouri. Lewis and Clark rowing up a river, framed by the St. Louis Arch. Actually a pretty cool idea, though I think we all could have benefitted from finding out, once and for all, if they want us to pronounce it "Missour-ee" or "Missour-uh."

Arkansas. A duck, a diamond, some rice, and a river. Way too busy, guys. And way to tell the whole world that there's an open-to-the-public diamond mine in your state. I was planning to spend a week there in my forties and collect enough rocks to retire on. Now the place will be a mob scene.

January 26, 2003

JUST SHOW UP, BABY

What a pitiful performance by the Raiders. I guess it's a good thing for all concerned that they got knocked out by the Pats last year; watching that kind of performance in two consecutive Superbowls would have dropped football's popularity to curling levels.

All week long, I was on the fence as to who I should root for. Mostly because I view these things in terms of who I don't want to see emerge victorious. Warren Sapp...but Al Davis. Keyshawn...but Raider Nation. Tough call. Then a couple days ago I saw some quote by some Raider that showed they still felt they beat the Patriots. So I'm glad the Bucs won. Congrats, Tampa; it's always nice to see a city take one home after a long drought. Maybe someday Cleveland and Philly will know.

And what a sorry bunch of commercials. The only one that got a chuckle was the FedEx Castaway spoof.

Upon Further Review: I forgot one more laugh I got from a commercial. It was one of the ridiculous anti-drug spots: one that showed the pregnant teen and said that marijuana led to loss of judgement. I forget: was that on right before, or right after, the 143rd beer commercial of the evening?

January 23, 2003

YE GADS

If you're anywhere in the Northeast, you know what I'm complaining about this week. It's crazy cold out there. I got paid yesterday, and was thisclose to plunking my entire check down at a travel agency and asking how far away it would get me. (Unfortunately, the answer would probably be Baltimore...) I've cursed the sun, which has been out all week, blinding me but offering no warmth whatsoever. I've cursed the Pilgrims; I still can't understand why, after the first winter, they didn't pack up and move the whole operation down to South Carolina.

But I've cursed most of all the Weather Channel guy yesterday morning, who said with a grim face, "In Orlando, better bundle up at the attractions. It's going to be in the low 60s." Yeah, that's rough.

And if anyone from WBZ-4 is watching this, why do you need your reporters out in the -45 degree temperature reporting LIVE! from a courthouse where the action's long over? Do you really think we care that they're on the scene? Just let 'em come in and give them a cup of cocoa for God's sake.

January 20, 2003

ON A PERSONAL NOTE

Happy Birthday Sooz!

January 17, 2003

IF THEY AREN'T...IT MEANS THEY MUST BE

Lieutenant General John DeWitt was commander of the Western Defense forces in California in the early stages of World War II. When Japanese-American civilians were being rounded up and placed in custody, someone asked him if he was aware of the fact that no evidence of any sabotage or plotting had come from any of these prisoners. DeWitt's famous reply: "The very fact that no sabotage has taken place to date is a disturbing and confirming indication that such action will be taken."

In other words, because they aren't up to anything...they must be up to something.

This comes to mind because UN inspection teams finally found something in their exhaustive search of Iraq. Empty warheads. Not chemical weapons. Not biological weapons. Not nuc-ya-ler weapons. Empty warheads. Most likely the kind the U.S. cheerfully sold Saddam Hussein in the '80s when he was fighting Iran.

So they finally found something and it turned out to be nothing. That must be proof they're up to something.

January 16, 2003

CHAGRIN

I just received an email from alert reader and self-proclaimed "Easy Rider missionary" Spencer Powers of Mississippi* who took me to task for my review of Easy Rider, which I treated like Jack Nicholson treated Scatman Crothers in The Shining. I admit, I ripped the movie out of a sense of disappointment in the film itself and disillusionment at the hands of a sellout generation. And I admit, maybe it deserves a second chance. But more importantly, it caused me to make a shameful confession and apology to the six or seven of you who stuck with me through the first 54% of the AFI Top 100 Movie List.

I've been working nights at a video store.

That's right. I enjoy the perks of free rentals and, yet, I've let the list stagnate like a pool of filthy water. Bad bad me. If I promise to get cracking and finish the list (only 46 movies to go!), will you forgive me? Then I can go back and rethink some of my first impressions...

* He also mentioned that the commune scene included Grizzly Adams and a young Bridget Fonda. How this escaped my notice is anyone's guess. One more thing to atone for.

January 15, 2003

"SUV DRIVERS HAVE A TROUBLING TENDENCY TO RUN OVER THEIR OWN KIDS"

It's a month old, but here's an excellent column in December's Washington Monthly about SUVs: the myths about their safety, the profile of their owners (yes, they are overwhelmingly insecure, self-absorbed jerks - surprise!) and the government's unwillingness to classify them as trucks, thus exempting them from any sort of reasonable fuel-economy standards.

The column is an extended review of High & Mighty by Keith Bradsher, which is vaulting to the top of my must-read list. This may be the most interesting bit:

"Because these beasts are so big and hard to see around (and often equipped with dark-tinted glass that's illegal in cars), SUV drivers have a troubling tendency to run over their own kids. Just recently, in October, a wealthy Long Island doctor made headlines after he ran over and killed his 2-year-old in the driveway with his BMW X5. He told police he thought he'd hit the curb. "

Oops!

I got to this article from the always-enjoyable Mark Morford, who speaks for a lot of us when he says he gets physically ill at the sight of Hummers barging around city streets. Amen, brother. For more on the anti-SUV backlash, go to the Detroit Project, a group producing commercials that mock the stupid drugs=terrorism ads that ran during the Superbowl last year. Predictably, only a handful of TV stations are airing them.

January 12, 2003

HOLY CRAP, HE WROTE SOMETHING

New content! New content! It's the 2002 A to Z of Overrated Stuff. Just for the record, some possibilities for the 2003 list are already starting to present themselves. Keep an eye out for Jeremy Shockey, John Kerry, and the looming Corey Feldman comeback.

I'll post something again in 6 months (now you'll be pleasantly surprised if it actually comes sooner).

Yer obd't servant, Michael