Archives for March 2003

March 22, 2003

Attention all Ninjas

So tomorrow morning (well, in 2 hours), I head to the airport for my first flight in the post-whatever age. So I clicked on over to the Transportation Security Administration's website and found this list (pdf) of what is and isn't allowed as carry-on or checked baggage.

Cigar cutters, knitting/crochet needles, toy transformer robots and umbrellas are all specifically mentioned as perfectly OK to carry on with you. Well, that's a relief. I never travel anywhere without my vintage 1927 Cohiba guillotine and a few random Decepticons to play with.

Hand grenades, plastic explosives, tear gas, chlorine for pools and spas (!) and flare guns are all strictly out of bounds. I won't make any jokes here, for fear of ending up on Ashcroft's kill-list, but I do wonder if anyone's spoken up yet for America's neglected long-distance-travelling-pool-cleaning class. Often forgotten, tragically underrepresented. God bless you, you pool cleaners.

Some of the "no carry-on, but it's OK to check it in" items make me a little apprehensive about what kind of homicidal maniacs might be sitting across the aisle from me. Leave your hatchets, bows and arrows, meat cleavers, sabers, and (wow!) portable cordless power saws in the checked bags, gang. The serial killing can wait until you're on the ground.

But the most interesting thing for me is how detailed they get as to what ninja weapons are banned from carry-ons. Not content with the catchall of "ninja weapons", they specify which weapons are out. No nunchakus. No stun guns. No night sticks or black jacks. Not even throwing stars! Having played a little (meaning a lot) of D&D in my day, I'm surprised they haven't stated a specific policy on what to do with your glaive-guisarme or your arquebus. But if there are any ninjas on my morning flight to Omaha, I guess it's comforting to know they'll be under control.

March 18, 2003

This is just freaky

My sister (soon to be 21; Happy Birthday, Kiddo!) told me to check out this page on randomdudes.com, with Bush's face superimposed onto the bodies of hot chicks. Regardless of your politics, you have to be a little frightened and amused by this.

Rhetoric 101

Across the street from where I work is a Harvard University dorm. On the second floor, some political science major has taped up the thought-provoking slogan "France Sucks".

A coworker said she wasn't into vandalism, but she was tempted to throw a rock through the window. I said I'd rather throw a baguette.

March 17, 2003

Movie Reviews (short version)

While my 100 movies project is still on my list of longterm goals, I'm going to give myself permission to give shorter reviews of other flicks I see that aren't necessarily classics. Maybe I'll compile a bunch of them into one page. Here are two Sooz and I watched the last couple of days.

8 Mile. Directed by Curtis Hanson. Starring Eminem, Kim Basinger, Mekhi Pipher and Brittany Murphy. I wasn't sure what to expect of this; I like his music well enough, but the whole rapper-as-actor thing has been done to death, and Eminem has never really inspired me as a person. Oh, well. Considering the movie is basically a retelling of Eminem's early life (a poor white rapper trying to break into the world of big-time hiphop), he does a remarkable job of acting. The interplay between his crew and their enemies, the friction with his ineffectual mom and beloved little sister, and the way he negotiates the hostile rap battles are all given equal time and really flesh out what turns out to be an interesting character study. And the rap battle scenes are fantastic. So is the soundtrack; "Lose Yourself" is one of the great songs of this decade. I will not argue about this. So 8 Mile is definitely worth a look.

The Banger Sisters. Directed by Bob Dolman. Starring Goldie Hawn, Susan Sarandon and Geoffrey Rush. This movie was fun. Suzette and Vinnie (Goldie and Susan, respectively) were major groupies (like Goldie's daughter in Almost Famous) in the 60's; now Suzette's still bumming around and goes to visit Vinnie to float her a loan. But in the 20 years since they parted, Vinnie has become Lavinia, a calcified Republican housewife in the world's most Stepfordian family. While Suzette tries to break screenwriter/schmo Rush back from his downward spiral, she also manages to rekindle the 60s spirit in Lavinia. The results are fairly predictable, but you'll have fun along the way. And Geoffrey Rush as the putz is a role not to be missed.

March 15, 2003

On the Road Again

Sooz and I are dreaming of a big road trip this summer. She wants to hang out at Gnomedex in Des Moines and visit the family in Nebraska. I countered with a list of acceptable ballgames to go see. We made a deal and, if all goes well, we'll be out and about in the Eastern US for 2 weeks in July and August. Offers of crashing pads, home-cooked meals and the like will be listened to.

We've set up a separate page for the trip here.

March 14, 2003

March Badness

Sportsfrog.com has just launched the March Badness tournament, where they are asking fans to vote on the 64 biggest jerks (already selected) in an NCAA-style tournament bracket. It's impossible to pick who will make the Vile Four, but if you vote for Manny Ramirez over Roger Clemens in the first round, kindly don't ever talk to me again.

Single"mind"edness

A very interesting piece on what's going on in Bush's head. Basically, those who support him are very happy with his focus and determination on - well, whatever his raison du jour (ooh! French! Break out the sedition acts!) for attacking Iraq is. Others, like yours truly, are now convinced that his only goal in the White House, if not in life, is beating Saddam Hussein.

Especially on the heels of the news that he's spent four days holed up in the Oval Office trying to convince countries - any countries - to support him. When you're the leader of the mightiest nation on earth and you're sucking up to Bulgaria to get your back, maybe just maybe it's time to reexamine your agenda. A few months ago, I'd have said that any week which featured Bush sequestered is a good week, but now I'm not so sure.

Anyway, those of us who have paid any attention to anything except Iraq have noticed that things here in the US are not so great. The job market is collapsing, the stock market's lurching around like a stab victim, and the general mood of the populace is...oh, what the hell, I'll steal from Dennis Miller...bleaker than Ingmar Bergman sitting in the dark listening to Leonard Cohen records. And our fearless leader is up all night, on the phone, asking Angola to ask Slovakia if they think maybe Peru likes us (I mean really likes us.)

Bush was elected* to lead this country. If he'd rather form an elite unit of supercommandos and lead them into Baghdad himself, and leave the homefront in the hands of someone who gives a rat's ass, I'd be all for it. If the war comes, is won quickly, and Bush wants to spend the rest of his days traveling around the countryside with Hussein's head in a bottle, OK. But in the meantime, act like a President. Just for once. OK?

* Well, for the purposes of this post, we'll pretend he was elected.

March 12, 2003

C´est la Guerre

So I have one question for all the knuckleheads who are boycotting French fries due to France's anti-war-in-Iraq stance.

If Great Britain backs out of George's War too, what language will you all speak?