Archives for May 2003

May 22, 2003

The Wonder Of It All

We swung by Foxwoods on Sunday. Promise me something: if you ever hear me talking about going again, just give me a book of matches and a $10-dollar bill; it will last longer than my roll of quarters did.

Unfortunately, I didn't run into Diamond Bill Bennett, so I couldn't ask him how to reconcile his view of a universal morality with a million-dollar gambling jones, but I was taken aback at the Foxwoods clientele. I expected the desperate pensioners, the chain-smoking joyless slot-handle-pullers, and the odd tuxedoed low-roller playing video poker, but I couldn't believe the number of kids. Not in the casino itself, of course, but in the surrounding "entertainment complex". Why would you bring your kids there? Isn't there anywhere else you can take them? A place that wouldn't require you to leave them for hours while you deposit their college money into Archie slot machines?

This must be one of those nouveau-family-bonding moments that I'm missing out on by not having kids.

As a P.S., while searching for background info on Diamond Bill, I came across a recent Gallup Poll showing what Americans consider morally acceptable or not. Add another slew of items to my "Why I'm Increasingly Uncomfortable Living In This Country" list.

May 14, 2003

Summer Wish List

In no particular order:

1. A point guard. Andre Miller would do nicely.
2. A center. I've heard rumblings about an Alonzo Mourning comeback; I'd very much like that to be here, please.
3. Danny Ainge and Antoine Walker having a heart-to-heart, man-to-man discussion about his maturity and his role on the team. And note to Danny: We've invested too much love and worry and anxiety in Antoine to give up on him now.
4. Jason Kidd...please go to San Antonio. Thanks.

It's Almost Too Easy

Sometimes these things almost write themselves: Bush said the Saudi Arabia bombers "The United States will find the killers, and they will learn the meaning of American justice."

Let's divide this sentence into its two parts. "The United States will find the killers." Unless they hide out with Osama Bin Laden. Or Saddam Hussein. Or even the runaway Texas Democrats. The point is, it seems almost laughably easy to hide from this Administration.

"...they will learn the meaning of American justice." Which is good news if any of the bombers come from money or have good political connections. And not so good if they're non-white. Or maybe Bush means a different kind of American justice, and we'll soon see the bombers on with Judge Judy or Judge Larry Joe? Either way, it seems a strange way to handle an international incident like this one.

May 13, 2003

Sue Your School

A tale of two recent lawsuits:

A Tennessee 14-year old is suing her school district because the school basically shuts down for three days while nearly everyone attends a Christian revival camp. As a pagan, young India Tracy declined the "voluntary" trip and

was called "Satan worshipper" and accused of eating babies...was taunted, found slurs painted over her locker and was injured when classmates assaulted her and slammed her head into the locker.

Which makes me wonder exactly what strain of Christianity they're learning at this camp. But in any case, Tracy has left that school (can you blame her?) and is suing because officials did nothing to protect her. Go get 'em, India.

Meanwhile, in New Jersey, student Blair Hornstine successfully sued her school district to make her the only valedictorian in her graduating class. Hornstine claims a disability, some kind of "immune deficiency" that requires her to be taught at home by tutors, and not have to take gym class. The other top students in her school, who didn't have such perks, found that their GPAs were weighted down by gym class and as such, were decimal points lower than Blair's. The school was prepared to name co-valedictorians, but that wasn't good enough. So she's got her title, and now she wants $2.5 mil for her anguish. To recap: She's not suing for equal treatment because of her disability; she's suing for special treatment, and to deny the honor to others.

So can the kids who had to take gym class countersue? I hope so. And why is gym class counted in GPA anyway? And what kind of speech will she give her class..."How I Manipulated the Disability Laws and Kept Two Of You From Infringing On My Spotlight"? Should be good.

Blair is going to....(wait for it)...Harvard to become....(guess)....a lawyer. I just hope this was all worth it for her.

So the lesson here? Suing your school is OK, sometimes. And some people were born to be lawyers.

May 08, 2003

The Soap Opera

There's a long story here; I'll try to fill in the backstory as best I can. The Celtics are playing the N.J. Nets in the NBA Playoffs. The Nets' star player is Jason Kidd, who got exiled to Jersey from Phoenix after a January 2001 incident where he beat up his wife Joumana in front of their young son TJ. So Jason gets traded to the Nets and is put in the care of coach Byron Scott, a mediocre coach whose claim to fame as a player was lighting up the scoreboard when his team (the Lakers) was already comfortably ahead.

Last year, the Nets played Boston in the Eastern Conference Finals. The Boston crowd was pretty vicious, heckling Kidd with chants of "wifebeater" and making Joumana (who has apparently forgiven Jason and accepted the life of a pseudocelebrity for herself and TJ) sad. The Nets went on to knock the Celtics out last year, partly because of Kidd but mostly because Keith Van Horn (since traded to Philly) finally decided to act like an NBA player down the stretch. But that's another topic.

Fast-forward to this year. In a late-night Boston sports show, Globe columnist Bob Ryan made some pretty silly comments about Joumana's omnipresence on the sidelines, saying "I'd like to smack her". Bad idea; the Globe has suspended Ryan for a month from writing or making any more TV appearances.

There's one more thing you should know before we move on; Kidd is a free agent after this season. There might be reasons why he'd prefer to stay in New Jersey instead of going to San Antonio or Orlando; I just haven't figured out what they are yet. But it's made for some interesting moral dilemmas in New Jersey. Byron Scott, whose status as a competent NBA head coach depends on Kidd's staying in town, said Ryan should be fired and worse: "Just tell him to come right in here and he can say that in front of me and Jason and some of our players, that he would like to slap her around a little bit. He'll see how well he'll be received." So let's clarify this position: Ryan should be fired for saying he'd like to slap Joumana. Jason punched, smacked and spit food at Joumana - but he shouldn't be fired for that. Byron Scott thinks 12 professional athletes should pummel a 60-ish-year-old man, but he shouldn't be fired for that. Here's one New Jersey numbskull's sign showing basically how to ignore any part of the big picture to make a retarded point.

And Byron, apparently unaccustomed to having anyone be interested in what he has to say, rambled on about the fans of Boston being racist, a loveable old chestnut that hasn't really been heard much since the 70s. (It was news to Celtics stars Antoine Walker and Paul Pierce, for instance.) And the New York Press, which has claimed the Nets to heart since the Knicks became irrelevant, is all over this like only the New York press can be. JoeNetsFan.com, a good fan site who's stayed above this fray for the most part, has a roundup of all of the columns about this sad saga.

The soap opera will be continued Friday at 8, when Boston fans get to show Scott and Kidd how they feel now. Hopefully, in true soap opera fashion, the Celtics' defense will return from the grave and extend the series a couple more games.

May 04, 2003

"Good night, boss, wherever you are."

I woke up this morning to learn that New Hampshire's most famous landmark, the Old Man of the Mountains, collapsed sometime overnight.

So what next for N.H.? Will they have to change the license plates? Or the road signs? And what of the quarters? Should we turn them in? Turn them sideways?

Here's a picture Sooz took of the O.M.o.t.M. when we were bumming around New Hampshire a couple years ago. It's weird to think it's gone. At least no one's blaming terrorism.

May 03, 2003

Musings

I know, I know, I know. It's been over a week. It's been a bad habit of mine: a flurry of writing for a couple of days, then nothing. I wish I could explain it. Part of it is a lack of time, part of it is a sense of facing an infinite amount of nonsense with only finite resources to combat it. But, then again, no one's ever accused me of being overflowing with discipline and motivation, either.

So I bought a book: The Pocket Muse by Monica Wood. It's got lots of neat little inspirations and exercises and digressions designed to knock you into a rhythm and a sense of making your writing a serious part of your life. And I'm going to carry it with me and use it and internalize it.

And I'm going to refer to Kevin's post on writing to remind me that a real writer is never not writing. And maybe I'll tell everyone the ideas I have in my head for novels, and make them sound so great and so indispensable that I'll have no choice but to sit down and actually write 'em.

Oh, and my parents have a web site now!