Archives for March 2004

March 29, 2004

Score One For the Forces of Darkness

All my earlier pride in Massachusetts is gone, at least temporarily.

The state legislature voted today to push ahead the Hate Amendment, which will cause gay couples to continue enjoying second-class-citizen status, and also cause me to swear loudly in my car as I did listening to Gov. Mitt Romney -- saying he will now go back to the SJC, asking them to take backsies on their "no compelling Constitutional right to deny" decision. Which is his only tactical move; since MA voters can't vote on the Hate Amendment until 2006, the last thing Mitt wants is to see an outpouring of love and commitment that will make the electorate realize he's in the wrong.

And that wacky Boston Archdiocese - last seen shuffling child abusers around rather than confronting them - stepped in again, saying in a video that says civilization will crumble if the Hate Amendment isn't passed:

Unlike race or gender, the video says sexual orientation is not an 'immutable trait' and, therefore does not deserve 'special preferences.' Gay marriages and civil unions would also change how children are taught at school and 'accelerate the death of marriage,' it says.

Two things. Accelerate the death of marriage? Marriages aren't like Honus Wagner baseball cards; increasing the number doesn't make them less valuable.

And we can debate all night whether homosexuality is an 'immutable trait' or not (although, frankly, we don't really think it's debatable), but it's pretty obvious that some things -- like, let's say, RELIGION -- are not immutable. Therefore, by the Archdiocese's own logic, there should be no special preferences based on religion. Like tax-exempt status and faith-based funding, to rattle a couple off the top of my head. Is this a can of worms (or a Diet of Worms?) the bishop really wants to open now?

The only silver lining is that civil unions - thought impossible just three years ago - are the bare minimum, and are even provided for in the Hate Amendment. But it's a small lining, and I don't plan to shut up about this until my gay friends and neighbors are able to belly up to the marriage-lunch-counter with the rest of us. The forces of darkness scored a win in today's battle, but the war is going against them.

(PS - Kudos to my State Rep., Timothy Toomey, for voting against discrimination. Would that my state Senator (Travaglini) and my governor were as committed to equality.)

March 25, 2004

Read This

Oliver Willis beautifully sums up Iraq, foreign policy and the failures of the Bush gang.

March 23, 2004

Goodbye, You Awful Old Thing

Sure, it was generally regarded as the worst facility in professional sports. Sure, it was built during the 3-week span when they thought that multipurpose concrete bowls were the way to go in spectator comfort. And sure, during most Phillies games, the place held more feral cats in the tunnels than fans in the stands. But when they tore the Vet down the other day, it was hard not to think back fondly...at least a little bit. So many memories:

I saw my first National League Game ever there: 1984, vs. Montreal. My mom's college roommate's husband, a local lawyer, hooked us up with Steve Carlton's personal seats. And for some reason I decided Von Hayes was my favorite National Leaguer.

I was in college in Philly during the magical '93 season, when Kruk, Dutch, Lenny, Curt and the boys turned the notion of "professional athlete" on its head. I spent the first eight minutes of my 19th birthday at the Vet; at 12:08, John Kruk pounded one over the right-field wall to send the Padres packing. At 11:53, I asked an usher if I could get a "Happy Birthday" message to myself on the scoreboard at midnight. He was not amused.

My first real date with my college girlfriend was (at my choice, surprise, surprise) a game against the expansion Marlins. It went extra innings; we stayed; Phils won.

Opening Day, 1994. Phillies get their NL Champion rings...there's a touching ceremony for Kruk, who got diagnosed with cancer in the offseason...Phils lose to Colorado. Same girlfriend got tickets to the game, upper upper UPPER deck. When we saw our seats, I remarked "Well, if this game gets boring, I can always turn around and see the game in Pittsburgh." She was not amused.

After college: friends from school come up to Boston for a wedding; coincidentally, the Sox are home against the Angels and none of them have been to Fenway before. My friend Scooter takes a look around, sees the Green Monster and the closeness of the seats, and remarks sadly, "This place makes me want to go home and slap the Vet."

1998 and 2000: Interleague play brings the Sox, and me, down to Philly. Sox get slapped around repeatedly. I was not amused.

I never made it to an Eagles game at the Vet. Never got the deluxe tour of the visitors' locker room. Never actually found the concession stand where they sold the good food. Never, in fact, found my car in the parking lot after the Colorado game. But the Vet will always have a big, ugly, mostly-but-not-quite-soulless, place in my heart. I just wonder where all the cats went.

March 22, 2004

Where I've Been

How I spent the past few days:

• Spending all my available computer time deleting comment spam. Remember when I used to be against the death penalty? Not anymore, boy. I (finally) got MT Blacklist installed, so maybe that will help. But a few public spammer-hangings might help more...
• I got myself a good case of the three-day Martian Death Flu. Ecch. No details. You don't want 'em and I don't want to relive 'em.
• If you live in New England, you know this one. This has been the most soul-crushing, spirit-sapping, motivation-sucking winter EVER. The wind hasn't stopped blowing since November, we've had one non-winter-parka day since Thanksgiving, and I'm kinda tempted to self-immolate just for a few last minutes of warmth. But that's just me.
• Getting ready for my road trip. In case you haven't heard, it's been moved up a couple weeks: away from my birthday, but now coinciding with a Sox-O's game at Camden Yards. Where will it take me after that? Only funds, energy, and the promise of a 50-degree day in the Midatlantic states will tell for sure.

So that's that.

March 15, 2004

An Open Invitation to Ty Law

Ty Law wants to leave the Patriots and go get PAID somewhere.

Good for you, Ty. They need you! I mean, it's not like Belichick and Crennel and Pioli can replace a franchise player and still keep the machine humming. (By the way, has anyone heard from Drew Bledsoe or Lawyer Milloy lately?)

So let me be the first to publicly invite you, Mr. Law, to come over next January and watch the playoffs on my big TV. All you have to do is bring me a cap from the Lions or Chargers or Jets or whatever other sorry-ass team will pay you the big bucks to help them go 7-9 next season.

March 10, 2004

Good For Kerry

The next President was caught on tape calling Republicans, and particularly, the failed Bush Administration, "the most crooked, you know, lying group of people I've ever seen."

The Bush people predicatbly whined and sniffed that they were going to continue to fight the campaign on the issues. First of all, why start now? Second, what issues?

And one more thing, before I fully turn my endorsement over to the Senator from Massachusetts: the Democrats are fighting back. Kerry's not afraid to call stuff like this as he sees it. But let's not forget to thank the good doctor for surgically implanting a set of balls into the collective Democratic body politic.

A Snippet of Poetry

Sooz has apparently decided to kick off National Poetry Month a few weeks early with some selections on her site.

As I may have mentioned, I've never been a big poetry fan, but there's one favorite part of one favorite T.S. Eliot poem that's been going around in my head a lot as I careen towards the inevitable thirtieth birthday. From "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock":

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works of days and hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

Huh???

I've never followed hockey that closely, especially lately. But I just checked the standings on a whim. When the hell did the Tampa Bay Freaking Lightning become the best team in the NHL? Can anyone explain it to me?

You're In Trouble, Babe

Time was, I might have paid good money to see Dennis Miller do a standup act.

Now, apparently, I could earn $15.00 for sitting through an episode of his newly-conservative talk show. If I were only in LA. And if only I could stomach the thought of spending an hour watching one of America's formerly sharpest satirists, not afraid of stepping on the toes of either side, now spewing the Bush party line like a Huguenot anarchist contracting Stockholm Syndrome in the clutches of Torquemada. Miller not only drank the party-line Koolaid, he slugged it down like Dylan Thomas at the White Horse after finding out Caitlin ran off with Zelda.

Republican shills ≠ funny. I'm sorry but it's true. Read "Mallard Fillmore" if you don't believe me. Of course, that's just my opinion...I could be wrong.

March 09, 2004

Under the Knife

John Ashcroft is undergoing surgery today to remove his gallbladder. A few thoughts pop into mind:

• It's hard to believe what Ashcroft will be like once his bile duct is again flowing unabated.
• I'd love for one of the recovery-room doctors to say, in passing, "You know, Mr. Attorney General, a little medically prescribed marijuana would do wonders for your pain."
• Where's your Messiah now, Flanders??
• The procedure will probably be performed laparoscopically, which means a tiny instrument will be used to fiber-optically perform the surgery with only a small incision. As opposed to other kinds of surgery, like the BillofRightsectomy, which requires gasoline, torches and a battle-axe.

That said, I wouldn't wish severe pain and agony on my worst enemy. Which, truth be told, is either Ashcroft or George Steinbrenner. Rest up and get well, Mr. Attorney General. We want you hale and hearty, well and awake, for the long-overdue BushAdministrationectomy the nation will undergo in the fall.

March 08, 2004

Electoral Math

I went over to a site where you can create your own electoral map, and plugged in the official BunkoSquad projections for 2004. By the way, the map reverses the blue and red, so it's a litle disconcerting to think for a second that all the Midwest has gone Democratic.

Here's what I came up with:

Probably Republican: AL, AK, AZ, ID, IN, IA, KS, KY, MS, MT, NE, NC, ND, OK, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, VA, WY. (161 electoral votes)

Probably Democratic: CA, CT, DE, DC, HI, IL, ME, MD, MA, MI, MN, NJ, NY, OH, OR, PA, RI, VT, WA, WV, WI. (281 electoral votes)

Not sure: AR, CO, FL, GA, LA, MO, NV, NH, NM. (96 electoral votes)

Of course, depending on Kerry's running mate and Bush's self-destructive impulses (those 9/11 ads really worked, huh?), some is subject to change. But except for (possibly) West Virginia or Oregon, I can't see any of the Democratic states leaving. Even that would give Kerry 269 and only needing one more state.

The right VP might even put Tennessee and the Carolinas back in play: with a Southern VP candidate (Clark? Edwards? Graham?) and an honest election in Florida, this could be a major league asskicking.

Best case scenario? A possible 391-147 Kerry rout, according to my count. Worst case scenario? Same as always; another terrorist attack in October, which "suspends" the election "indefinitely".

Of course, this is all conjecture and should not be used for purposes of wagering.

March 02, 2004

I Got Me A Camera

And what do you take pictures of with new cameras? Cats! Here's my roommate Rachel's handsome little Nino.

BloggerCon

I'm going to BloggerCon II, on April 17th. I got to go briefly to the first one last year; there were some pretty interesting discussions and a good chance (if you're slightly more outgoing than me, which is everyone) to meet some people you "know" online. Plus it's right up the street from my house.

I've Been Called Out

Jessanne, visibly and publicly, has challenged me to make my "Where Have You Been?" Map.

Well, Jessanne -- I'll see your bet...

...and raise you. Here's all the counties I've been to. (At least all the ones I remember.) And yes, I painstakingly drew an entire US county map on Photoshop. Induct me into the Nerd Hall of Fame.