Archives for July 2004

July 30, 2004

Uniters, Not Dividers

If you want to seek Dick Cheney speak in New Mexico this week, you have to sign a loyalty oath to the President.

And I'm curious about this, too. Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity, possibly two of the people we here on the Left despise the most, were at the Democratic Convention. How close to Madison Square Garden do you think, say, Michael Moore and Ted Rall (who I assume are about the 2 most hated non-Clintons on the right) will get next month?

July 29, 2004

Living Vicariously

I haven't met any actual celebrities this week, but thanks to Sooz, my camera's gotten to meet some. Like Janeane Garofalo.

Must...not...choke...on...bitter....envy.....

July 27, 2004

More On That Panel

The aformentioned bookstore event was a panel with Salon's Joe Conason, Toni Morrison, Sidney Blumenthal, Al Franken and Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

They all said their pieces about how books can change the world (well - more or less about that), but RFKJr, to me, stole the show. With a righteous, barely-contained fury, he spoke about the environmental evils of the Bush regime (I like to think I follow things pretty closely, and I was blown away - I'm definitely going to buy his book). Then, on Bush, he said (and I paraphrase a bit): "I toured Europe with my father and President Kennedy. The goodwill towards America...all the European capitals had streets named after Teddy Roosevelt and George Washington...the US was a respected, admired leader. It took 300 years to build up that good will, but in 3-1/2 years...."

He didn't get to finish; the room erupted in a standing ovation. I was clapping before I was even conscious of doing so. I haven't seen a crowd swept up like that since the Celtics put on the afterburners and buried Philly in Game 5 two years ago.

Of course, that was in a room full of Cantabrigians and Democrats. But I think RFKJr. needs a spot in prime time this week; the man can take over a room.

(Meegz has more.)

Microcosmic

My city's overrun with dignitaries and celebrities and people out having a good time. Good for them. I'm working a more-than-full week and not getting invited to any of this. Kind of microcosmic.

Anyway, I haven't had a lot to say this week (as you may have noticed). Part of it is being miffed that no one's discovered my latent genius and asked me to some fancy party (or, for that matter, much of anything else). Part of it is simple fatigue, part is because I actually have been out doing stuff. V-Bunny wrote a great review of the bookstore's event last night - it's the only thing I had VIP access to all week, and I'm not kidding - we did math yesterday and calculated that people were asking us for tickets literally every 90 seconds. If someone were to go back in time and knock off Alexander Graham Bell, I for one wouldn't complain.

And, in the interest of full disclosure, I'm also suffering from the delayed effects of Black Wednesday. I figured I'd have a fullblown anxiety attack and mid(?)life crisis when I turned 30; instead it's 3 months late and came bearing interest. Waah. Check out Strindberg and Helium for a pretty good simulation of what I must sound like these days (if I were accompanied by a giddy pink balloon everywhere I went). Laurie sent me that a few weeks ago, along with Rock Paper Saddam!, maybe the funniest thing I've ever seen on the internet. Thanks, Laurie.

July 21, 2004

The Cookie Told Me So

I got a sort of dubious fortune cookie with my shrimp lo mein tonight:

You make people realize that there exist other beauties in the world.

How would you interpret that? More to the point, how would you interpret that if you were a neurotic bundle of nerves with a precarious self-esteem?

Desserts aren't always right....but they're so sweet!

July 20, 2004

Rear Window

Say what you will, but the pace of the 100 Movie Countdown has been upgraded from "glacial" to "very very very slow".

July 19, 2004

What Bush Isn't

It's hard to pin down exactly what GWB is, but he and his spokesmen are pretty specific about what he isn't.

(Link found at The Talent Show)

July 18, 2004

Stat-us-QUO! Stat-us-QUO!

I don't understand this. A group of Young Republicans is planning to join in on anti-GOP protests and protest the protestors. If this makes you confused, you're still a step ahead of these Young Republicans.

First of all, the Right doesn't protest. They don't need to. They're the party of the comfortable and the well-heeled. There's no great tradition of conservative folk-protest music ("We have the plant...and we have the power"), no notable marches (you think they're going to give up their weekends in the country?), and except for the rabid anti-choicers, not much makes them take to the streets. And now that they control all three branches of government, and most of the media, what are they after?

Second, they can't (or, more likely won't) see that those of us against the Iraq "war" aren't against all war. Well, most of us. They crashed their first anti-Iraq-war rally with signs that said "''Except for Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, War Has Never Solved Anything". Iraq has done none of these things; we don't know what it's done, and that's why we're against it. (And incidentally, which war, exactly, broke Communism? Vietnam? Grenada? Falkland Islands?)

Finally, it seems a bit odd that young, testosterone-fueled guys who are adamantly pro-war would spend their time messing with the hippies, when the Army needs new recruits to join the actual fight. I guess maybe the difference is that the hippies won't shoot at them.

July 16, 2004

The Big Lebowski

I love love loved Fargo when it came out. Then the next Coen brothers movie came out, and for one reason or another I never got around to seeing it. Don't know why.

Then about a year ago, I finally grew tired of the incredulous looks and the trash-talking (90% of which from my friend Jeanne - so I'll return the favor and bestow upon her the first annual BunkoSquad "Person Who Most Acutely Needs A Web Presence" Award) and rented The Big Lebowski. I liked it - not as much as Fargo, but well enough.

But in the last month or so, Lebowski has taken hold of my mind in strange and powerful ways. I've been quoting it obsessively, the songs in it run around and around in my head (in fact, I'm currently listening to "Run Through The Jungle" by Creedence), and I'm developing a crush on Julianne Moore to the point where I might watch all four hours of Short Cuts again.

I casually mentioned at work the other day that Lebowski might be making a serious run at my once-thought-inviolate Top Five Favorite Movies list (which consists of The Godfather, The Shawshank Redemption, Pulp Fiction, Fargo and Dogma). None of the top three are going anywhere, so that leaves Fargo and Dogma as the candidates to fall out of the Top Five. I'm not taking Kevin Smith off the list, so I've got to choose the best Coen movie. Not an easy task.

After a lot of thought (it's humid and hard to get to sleep), I'm giving Lebowski the nod. Here's why:

Acting. William H. Macy and Frances McDormand give the performances of their wonderful careers in Fargo. But you throw back John Goodman, in one of the best characters in film history, Jeff Bridges, perfect as the Dude, fabulous minor roles by Moore, John Turturro and Philip Seymour Hoffman (Buscemi's a tossup), and Lebowski's hard to beat.

Dialogue. Fargo's is awesome. But Lebowski may be the most quotable movie of all time:

• "You're out of your element, Donny!"
• "Your war is over, Mr. Lebowski. My condolences! The bums lost!"
• "We believe in nothing!"
• "Also, Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature..."
• "Do you see what happens, Larry?"
• "Her life is in your hands!"

and so on.

Music. Fargo's soundtrack is unmemorable; Lebowski has lots of Creedence, Bob Dylan, Santana and Kenny Rogers (I had no idea that was Kenny Rogers singing "I Just Dropped In" until I looked it up). Just awesome.

So the inviolate Top Five has been broached. Sometimes there's a man...sometimes, there's a man.

July 14, 2004

I Don't Like This Plan

BunkoSquad has learned: Unconfirmed sources are reporting that, as part of pre-Democratic Convention security, local and federal officials are discussing the option of just rounding up everyone in Boston and surrounding cities and shooting them.

"It's the next logical step," said an unnamed official in Mayor Menino's office. "We've closed every road in and out of town for the entire week. We're going to make the MBTA as friendly as East Germany. And still people are complaining. If you can't eliminate the problem - and we can't - we can eliminate the background noise."

A Secret Service spokesman concurred. "We talked very seriously about martial law," he said. "But it's just not efficient enough to post armed guards in the foyer of every apartment building inside of 128. But if you kill everybody in town before the convention begins, you nip any potential problems in the bud."

Mayor Menino laughed off criticism of the kill-everyone policy. "We're going to show our visitors the real city of Boston," he told a Chamber of Commerce luncheon. "And the real city of Boston isn't full of irritated townspeople, traffic logjams and pessimism."

"It's buildings and stuff."

The logistical problems of disposing of the corpses of 1.5 million Bostonians will be tricky, admitted the Secret Service source. BunkoSquad has learned, however, that federal officials have worked out a $4 trillion deal with Halliburton to handle the grim task.

Menino has scheduled a press conference for Friday to give details on the schedules of the kill-squads. "Everyone just stay home during convention week. There's no need to go out. We'll find you."

July 12, 2004

Fahrenheit 451

A church in Iowa was denied a permit to have a book-burning. Yeah. Here in 2004.

July 07, 2004

Words of (pant pant) Wisdom

If you feel like maybe you're a little too out-of-shape to climb a mountain properly, guess what - you probably are.

I wanted to spend my day off doing something a little more unusual than laundry and not watching my next movie, so I floated this idea around work the other day. And I'd like to give thanks and props to my friend Stef, who was patient enough to let me take 1,000 rest breaks, endure my frantic "I'll never make it" bitching and moaning, and not let me plummet down a cliff to hasten the promised deep-fried refreshments waiting at the bottom.

The important thing is, we made it. All the way to the top, and (by God) all the way back down again. And I sure don't envy the Family Von Trapp, who set out to Climb Every Mountain.

July 06, 2004

Dewey Defeats Truman

The New York Post got SERVED!

Kerry/Edwards

I like it. When Howard Dean's campaign fizzled (grumble), I found myself listening to, and liking, Edwards a lot more. He has the whole Southern populist thing going, which I think resonates with the public (see: 1992 and 1996), and he's going to look like an absolute dynamo of youth and vitality if he ever gets a chance to debate Dick Cheney. I honestly think this wins us NC, and probably puts VA and TN back in serious play. (As much as I respect Dick Gephardt, he didn't bring anything much to the Electoral table.)

I also really was impressed by the fact that, more than any other candidate, he's been willing to voice the fact that poverty is still out there and very real (Oliver Willis found a great quote that sums it all up). And with two of the four big-ticket guys being well-connected Ivy-Leaguers, and a third being an evil businessman, it's good to have someone who's made it himself. And Edwards was a trial lawyer - fine. Let's put the Republicans on the defensive, though, and have them explain why they want to make it harder for people to sue businesses that have wronged them (and if they pull the McDonalds case out as their argument (and they will), point them here).

All in all, I think it's a winner. Vice-President John Edwards. I can get used to that.

July 02, 2004

Brando 1924-2004

I never wanted this for you. I work my whole life - I don't apologize - to take care of my family, and I refused to be a fool, dancing on the string held by all those bigshots. I don't apologize - that's my life - but I thought that, that when it was your time, that you would be the one to hold the string. Senator Corleone; Governor Corleone. Well, it wasn't enough time, Michael. It wasn't enough time.

Krugman on Moore

Read it now.

Still We Believe

It's not exactly accurate to say that the 2004 Red Sox are going down the toilet. More accurate is that they've clogged the toilet and we can't get a plumber to come fix it until the end of September. So there are four godawful miserable long months ahead of us.

I now choose to believe that the Sox should let Nomar and Pedro go at the end of the season, and let the Ewing Theory take over.

But the important thing is, I don't care. Really.

My Joy-Drenched Life, Continued

So remember a couple days ago I was ranting and raving about the street-cleaning schedule being all screwed up, and how it took me a long time to find a parking spot?

Well, I went back to my car today - it wasn't there. Apparently they decided to just go ahead and clean the entire Central/Inman Square neighborhood and tow everything in sight. Beeeee-youtiful. So I got the exquisite joy of long-hiking through the off-off-off-Alewife area to find the tow lot (thankfully, the thunderstorm held off - everything's comin' up me!) and pay the extortionist's fee.

So if you're keeping score at home, this bullshit non-holiday has already destroyed one afternoon and whacked me for 80 bucks I could ill afford. I'm really starting to hate living in this city.

July 01, 2004

Left Behind

I've avoided posting about this so far, because I'm at that age where I have to start watching my blood pressure, but now it's time.

For those of you who don't live in the Boston area, a little background. The Democratic National Convention is coming to town late this month, and we're preparing in a way that only Boston can. For "security", they're closing all the highways in and out of the city (and banning traffic copters from helping people figure out which side streets aren't completely impassable), shutting off commuter trains from the north, and installing police-state security on the MBTA for the week of the convention (implicit message to terrorists: wait a week; you'll kill only locals but at least our distinguished guests will be home safe by then!).

And this was all pitched as an economic boon to the city, since all these delegates will certainly be out wandering around and shopping the whole time they're in town, and definitely not staying in the convention compund and going to swank parties hosted by corporate lobbyists. Did that sound sarcastic?

In its wisdom, the powers-that-be gave some sage advice to locals: leave town. Don't go to work that week. Take your vacations then and go to your beach houses. Maybe escape to Bimini on your hydrofoil. Just so long as you're not being silly and trying to get in and out of Boston that week. The problem, of course, is that I know NOBODY who has a hydrofoil, or a beach house, or (for that matter) much vacation time. Furthermore, lots of people work in hotels and restaurants and bookstores and are expected to be around that week, dusting tables and twiddling their thumbs, waiting for the promised rush of business.

So this is for them. I've designed a shirt that conveys a sense of "those losers all fled town" contempt, mixed with a dash of "why didn't I flee?" martyrdom. It's 20 bucks, you can order it here. And when they all come home from Bimini, you can wear it with a sense of self-righteous pride. Please buy one.